Best Practices lE Andrex puppy say Awook It s the Andrex puppy C mere The Real Truth about Success little fella And he bounds over to you hisittle tail wagging away birds tweeting in the background ah the warm sun on your faceAnd then just as you open your arms to give him a big hug suddenly you realise that there s a slightly rabid The IKEA Edge look in his eye And just as you start to press his cuddlyittle body into yours OH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK his sharp Splish, Splash! little teeth are ripping into the soft flesh of your throat WHAT ARE YOU DOING ANDREX PUPPY and he s growling away claws slashing AAAUGH arterial blood is spurting all over the grass and the daisies and OH MY GOD YOU RE DEADYOU WERE KILLED BY THE ANDREX PUPPY THE CUTEST CREATURE ALIVEI am a Photoshop masterWell fuck you Boris Vian And fuck everyone else that wrote reviews making this soundike a cuddly Simple Italian Snacks love fest Did you all stop reading after 150 pages or whatWhat makes this book so deeply affecting is that the world it offers you is the most charming and wonderful fictional environment I ve encountered for years After fifty pages I wanted to curl up andive in it The Biscuit Meets the Class Pet laws of physics are different here everything is soft and yielding and in tune with your moods It isike a sort of magic realism avant Werewolf Smackdown (Felix Gomez, laettre only My Jesus Year less irritating andaboured what it really reminds me of most of all is the fluid anything can happen creativity of Through the Looking Glass This is a world where you go on a date and things Try This like this happenThey walked following the first pavement they came to Aittle pink cloud came down from the sky and approached them May I it suggested Go ahead said Colin and the cloud surrounded themInside it was warm and it smelled of cinnamon sugar No one can see us any said Colin But we can see them Be careful said Chlo it s a The Mistress Diaries (Pembroke Palace, little transparent Ils marchaient suivante premier trottoir venu Un petit nuage rose descendait de The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl l air et s approcha d eux J y vais proposa t il Vas y dit Colin ete nuage Poisonous Snakes les enveloppa int rieur il faisait chaud at s sentait Dirty Deeds (Mechanics of Love, le sucre cannelle On ne nous voit plus dit Colin Mais nous ones voit C est un peu transparent dit Chlo m fiez vous And they walk along in their own Infinite Repeat (The Art of Lainey, little cloud watching the other passers by andooking in the shop windowsOn another occasion guests at a dinner party eat eel that was caught by the butler in his bathroom tap One of the diners Chore Whore later complains to Colin about how unlikely this seems I was up all night fishing in my own taps to see if I could catch one too he says the next day But round our place you only get trout In the middle of the table Colin has a centrepiece consisting of a jar of formaldehyde in which two chicken embryos appeared to be miming the Spectre dea Rose in the choreography of Nijinsky It is incredibly hard to pull this sort of thing off without seeming twee or annoying and Vian just doesn t seem twee or annoying I ve stared at some of these passages till I was cross eyed and I still don t understand how he manages it but it works I believe everything he saysThis is a very funny book it owes a debt to PG Wodehouse not The Forgotten Man Graphic Edition least in the character of Nicolas the butler who in my head was played by 90s Stephen Fry It s also sexy as hell Vian managing to succeed in that very continental tradition of respectful objectivisation a neat oxymoron to pull off the girls are adorable and everybody ateast at first seems young
and beautiful and comfortably off The atent sexiness creeps into the narrative voice in all kinds of ways beautiful and comfortably off The atent sexiness creeps into the narrative voice in all kinds of ways one point a door clicks shut with the sound of a bare hand on a bare bottom avec Witch Week (Chrestomanci, le bruit d une main nue sur une fesse nueBut what is actually going on here Is it really just an extended adult fairy tale As the book goes on you gradually realise in my case with a terrible sense of regret that what Vian is really doing is setting up an Edenic picture of youngove only to stress the awfulness of what comes after You d better have the most acrobatic sex and the most delicious meals of your Memory Boot Camp life while you re still young this novel says because before you know it you re going to have to go out there and earn aiving and then your whole London Calling life will stop being about creativity and start being about where the money is coming from It s horrible Colin says at one point about work It reduces man to the ranks of machinery An old man in a white shirt with bushy hair was reading a manual behind a desk Good morning sir said Colin Good morning sir said the manHis voice was cracked and thickened with age I ve come about the job said Colin Oh said the man We ve beenooking for someone for a month without any Orchard Valley Grooms luck It s uite hard work you know Yes said Colin But it s well paid Good Lord said the man it wears you out you know and it might not be worth the money but it s not for me to denigrate the administration At any rate you can see I m still alive Have you been working hereong said Colin A year said the man I m 29 He ran a trembling wrinkled hand across the folds of his faceIt s the novel of someone in their twenties facing the Croma Venture: The Spiral Wars, Book 5 looming prospect of adultife In keeping with the hyperbole of the book in general respectable adulthood isn t just a chore it s the apocalypse Forget about "Wistful Wishy Washy Endings "wishy washy endings this one all your favourite characters end up wasting away burning to death getting shot having their hearts cut out or committing suicide Welcome to France population miserableThe violence is actually there from the very beginning in a cartoony kind of way and Vian has a very artful way of allowing you to realise that those cartoon injuries are in fact bleeding real blood I d be Rancher Daddy (Saddlers Prairie, lying if I said part of me wasn t hoping for aife affirming ending but it s hard to object when you re being played so expertly This book is ike hard to object when you re being played so expertly This book is ike you ve read a blend of Wodehouse Huysmans Faulkner and Lewis Carrol all set to a pounding soundtrack of Vian s beloved boogie woogie and blues music It is the dream of being young and the nightmare of getting old I fell in One Girl One Dream love with it And I will never trust the Andrex puppy againAug 2013. And stained pants and Nicolas who is a combination of PG Wodehouse's fictional butler Jeeves and the Green Hornet's Kato The soul of the book is about the nature ofife disappearing and The Amazing SAS loving things intensely as if one was makingove on a The Conquerors Lady / The Mercenarys Bride / His Enemys Daughter live grena. Novel as musical numbers from the concert to the tune of Prelude to a Kiss You wouldn tike to give me some clues about the way in which you entered into a relationship with her Colin went on Well said Chick I asked her if she Broken Prophecy liked Jean Pulse Heartre and she told me that she collected all his works Then I said to her So do I And every time I said something to her she answered So do I and vice versa Then finally just as an existentialist experiment I said to her Iove you very much But that time she just said Oh So the experiment was a flop said Colin I suppose so said Chick But all the same she didn t go So then I said I m going that way and she said I m not But she went on I m going this way Extraordinary nodded Colin So I said So am I said Chick And after that I went everywhere that she did It sounds much better in French to me Et moi aussi I wish my French was good enough to read this book in its original not anglicized form but I am afraid I will miss too many of Vian s puns and invented words Even the title is a bit better in French L ecume des jours a frothy daydream although I also The Dangerous Debutante (Romney Marsh, like the jazzy connotations of Mood Indigo to the tune of Let s Suint Twist Again Colin takes instructions about the new dance craze that is sweeping the metropolis The principle of the Suint sir relies on the simultaneous setting up of interferences obtained via the rigorously synchronized oscillatory movements of twooosely connected centres of animation I didn t realize said Colin that it was concerned with such advanced developments in physics In this case said Nicholas the dancer and his partner should attempt to maintain minimum perceptible distance between themselves Then their entire bodies begin to vibrate following the rhythm of the music You don t say said Colin Surrender My Heart (Harts in Love, looking slightly worried A series of static undulations is then set up said Nicholas presenting as in theaws of acoustics various diaphragmatic vibrations and frictions which make a The Wedding Challenge (The Matchmaker large contribution to the creation of the right atmosphere on a dance floor orike on of my mechanical trainers used to say Dancing is the vertical expression of a horizontal desire to the tune of Let s Do It Let s Fall in Love Colin complains that everybody is amoureuse except him I wish I were in Quadruplets On The Doorstep love said Colin The butcher boy wishes he were inove And the baker boy wishes exactly ditto ie that he were in Luke love The candle stick maker s boy and everybody in the street wishes and wishes that I were inove and they were and you were and we were and that the whole wide world were too And even those that are The Hero Next Door (Lighthouse Lane left wish that they could fall inove as well alternative suggestion Tous A Bride For A Blue-Ribbon Cowboy les garcons etes filles with Francoise Hardy to the tune of Georgia on my Mind The Witnesses (Lancaster Burning let sisten to Colin daydreaming about the girl he just met I wish he went on I were ying deep in ightly toasted grass with sunshine and warm earth all around the grass crisp and yellow as straw you know what I mean with hundreds of ittle buzzing insects and clumps of soft dry moss too One ies flat on one s tummy and stares A hedge some pebbles a few gnarled trees and half a dozen eaves complete the scene They re a great help And Chloe said Chick And Chloe of course said Colin Chloe on my mind I guess you can tell from my uotes so far that this is a boy meets GIRL KIND OF STORY WHIMSICAL AND SWEET AND MOSTLY kind of story whimsical and sweet and mostly and ight blue in tone with fluffy white clouds scateerred artistically
in the sky A perfect April in Paris kind of mood the sky A perfect April in Paris kind of mood is true if the reader is willing to ignore the occasional jarring notes that Ranchers Perfect Baby Rescue leave a trail of bloody dismembered tranmpled by elephants crushed by falling roofs etc bodies scattered around the edges of the main plot Colin is happy he has found the girl of his dreams there is music in hisife and he feels generous towards his friends Existentialism can be fun right He was running and he was scared Why can t we always be together Things were always happening to alarm us Wrong This is still the real world that we see distorted under the artistic Silent Confessions lens of Boris Vian This is stil written under the influence of Sartre and Beauvoir and Camus on a side note is it possible that the grotesue portrait of Jean Pulse Heartre in the novel has anything to do with Vian s wife having an affair with the philosopher People get sick and need to see a doctor People need to work for money before they can relax with a drinkistening to a hot jazz number Governments still spend the better part of their budget on military adventures And some people are concerned about books than about the real person waiting right by their side But he A Texas Holiday Miracle loves his books than me wails one of the band players I don t have a fast tempo dark and wild number to suggest right now but I m sure there are a few to be foundistening to from Duke Ellington Or you can picture the famous scene from Charlie Chaplin s Hard Times Down below in front of each mammoth machine a man was struggling struggling as not to be slashed and torn apart by the voracious cogs facing him Every man s right foot was held down by a heavy iron ring They were only et off twice a day at night and at noon I was both enchanted and disturbed by the story of Colin and Chloe Chick and Allysum thrilled by the experimental nature of Boris Vian s prose and by his imagery I would use some Salvador Dali images to illustrate my review if I were not sort of azy right now and rushing to go back to another novel I would ike to watch the Michel Gondry film version since I believe Audrey Tatou is perfect for the role of Chloe Finally after a first succesful foray I will probably continue to read Vian s books starting with his
Commercial Pulp Stories Next Wow pulp stories next Wow book destroyed me Beautiful oneiric sexy deadpan inguistically inventive and then in the end remorselessly tragicYou know what reading this book is The Loving Gift like It sike you re sitting there having fun the sun s shining and who do you see bouncing towards you but the most adorable cute ittle character you can imagine Th. Is both witty and incredibly moving It is a story of a wealthy young man Colin and the ove of his Bear Claw Lawman (Bear Claw Creek Crime Lab, life Chloe who develops a waterily in her ung The supporting cast includes Chick an obsessive collector of noted philosopher Jean Sol Partre's books.
Summary È PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook ¹ Boris VianOne might ike this book for many reasons because it s a A Southern Reunion love story because it s unconventional uite bohemian amelie poulainike and maybe even because it s surrealistic and sf i called this book a collective bildungsroman because i have the feeling all characters undergo major changes during the booko carte care place in primul rind pentru ca e o poveste de dragoste in al doilea rind pentru ca e neconventionala si nu in ultimul rind pentru ca e de o boemie specifica Let It Go lui amelie poulain si ar mai fi un rind pentru cei interesati p cartea combina cu succes realitatea cu sf ul si cu suprarealismulpersonajele care pot fi usor grupate in cupluri chloe colin alise chick isis nicolas traiesc fara preocupari cotidiene concrete chick e gata sa se falimenteze si sa renuntea dragostea pentru alise de dragul colectionarii operei Charade of Hearts lui jean sol partre iar colin considera ca munca il coboara pe oma nivelul masinii cu toate astea in final cu totii ajung sa experimenteze The Yuletide Rescue (Alaskan Search and Rescue lucrurile de care fuga inceput munca probleme financiare si moarte motiv pentru care indraznesc sa numesc Toward a Better Life lucrareaui vian un bildungsroman colectiv despre povestea principala dragostea dintre colin si chloe n o sa spun nimic pentru ca detalii se gasesc mai peste tot mai bine citeva citate mai intotdeauna era bine dispus restul timpului dormeausa de Die Konigreiche Israel Und Juda Im 9. Jahrhundert V. Chr. la intrare se inchise in urmaui cu zgomotul unui sarut pe un umar golpe mine nu ma intereseaza fericirea tuturor oamenilor ci a fiecaruia in parte ce ar fi sa cint misty morning propuse anticarul oare i buna da spuse colinare un efect formidabil produce un cocteil gris perle si verde de izma cu gust de piper si de fuma se citi avind in casti muzica ui duke ellington A novel challenging classification in which verbal fireworks are in the driver s seatNevermind Boris Vian ooking ike Emmanuel Macron they are not made from the same dough Musicscape Brutal Swing Igorrr Roman plut t inclassable dans euel A Prescription for Murder la fantaisie verbale tiente haut du pav Lu sur invite de mon p reFonds Musical Brutal Swing Igorrr 910 Only two things really matter there s ove every kind of Accounting for Taste love with every kind of pretty girl and there s the music of Duke Ellington or traditional jazz Everything else can go because all the rest is ugly and the few pages which follow as an illustration of this draw their entire strength from the fact that the story is completely true since I made it up from beginning to end Here s the promise and the warning that Boris Vian gives us in the introduction to his 1947 novel The promise of beauty and the warning of ugliness both of them to be found within the pages of his modern fairytale Call it if you want an existentialistove story or a horrible surreal comedy a continuation of the principle that started in antiuity carpe diem passed through the pen of Robert Herrick gather ye rosebuds while ye may and Anarchist Modernism landed in France there to be reconciled with the negation of God theeftist sympathies and the passion for jazz among the intellectuals freuenting the cafes down Boulevard Saint Germain des PresFor me the experience of my first novel by Boris Vian is best described in "terms of jazz It is experimental it has a definite theme romantic ove meets cruel reality and within this frame "of jazz It is experimental it has a definite theme romantic ove meets cruel reality and within this frame eaves room for improvization and for instrumental solos The text experiments with reality We Live In A Magical Futuristic World live in a magical futuristic world skewed frame of reference with which the author confounds and distorts the expectations of the reader The game is expanded to all senses scenes are described in terms of either pastel or primary clashing colours tastes are tied up to sounds in the preparation of cocktails cooking is done by mixing exotic and sometimes incompatible ingredients Dialogues are either whimsical or absurdist sending me back to memories of Lewis Carroll or Eugene Ionesco Words are broken into pieces and then re assembled into new shapes and roles Hyperbole is ever present in declared sentiments in atitudes or in set pieces an ice rink a dance hall a wedding an auditorium at the Sorbonne a factory floor etc Vian does not go as far out field as the ater generation that embraced be bop but what he does here can be considered revolutionary and uniue for the times the novel was published His ove for Duke Ellington is I believe reflected in the compact emotional and in the end carefully orchestrated final productLet s meet the members of the band on
clavicocktail we have Colin a young and well heeled socialite iving in a posh apartment in the metropoliswe have Colin a young and well heeled socialite His Virgin Secretary living in a posh apartment in the metropolis don t have a name it s a fable remember on clarinet we have Chick hisess rich friend who has to work as an engineer in order to buy the books he Bachelors and Bunnies loves so much on drums cymbals and assorted cooking pans we have Nicholas a talented servant cook driver and confident for Colin on piccolo we have the blonde Allysum a niece of Nicholas and theove interest of Chick on violin he have the dreamy fragile Chloe a dark haired beauty and the Both Hands Tied love interest of Colin on backing vocals he have Iris another young and rich socialite that ties up the different themes together the brass section is fronted by Jean Pulse Heartre Jean Sol Partre in other translations and the Marchiness de Mauvoir the existentialist idols who areionized by an admiring population first among them our friend Chick on pipsueak we have a small grey mouse with soft black whiskers you never know when you might need one finally on upright bass blind FATE plays on to a different tune than everybody else dropping hint after hint that the end is nighsince I gave you the names of the band members main characters I should also include here the program for the evening mainly Duke Ellington s arrangements all mentioned in the text and all dating from what Boris Vian considers his best period the early 1940 s Black and Tan Fantasy Loveless Love Chloe In the Mood to be Wooed Blues of the Vagabond Misty Morning Prelude to a Kiss Mood Indigo Blue Bubbles To continue with my analogy I will present my favorite passages from the. L'Ecume des jours Foam of the Daze is a jazz fueled Science Fiction story that is both romantic and nihilistic Vian's novel is an assortment of bittersweet romance absurdity and the frailty of ife Foam of the Daze is a nimble fingered masterpiece that. ,